Koinonia
by Alex Foster
Summary: Solitude occupied a very firm place in John’s life until Cameron started watching over him.


Title: Koinonia

Author: Alex Foster

Category: General

Rating: PG

Summary: Solitude occupied a very firm place in John's life until Cameron started watching over him.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Fox. No money is being made and no infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: This is set prior to the season finale, so don't look for a Crispy Cameron.

* * *

_True happiness is of a retired nature, and an enemy to pomp and noise; it arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions._

Joseph Addison, The Spectator, March 17, 1911

English essayist, poet, & politician (1672 - 1719)

* * *

John Connor always had a skill for finding hiding spots. In foster care there were always new homes, yards, and buildings. The unfamiliar was where he spent the most of his young years. In each of those places, even if it was only a drop house he'd see for a couple of days, John could always find a quiet spot away from the bustle around him. 

Even before the foster period, he could remember slipping from the room he shared with his mother and going off on his own. The thrill of knowing his mother would not approve mixed with the freedom, if only for a couple of hours, from her rough survivalist training.

He fondly recalled some of his favorite spots from that time. The bed of a rusty Chevy truck in Juarez. A forgotten tree house in San Juan. And a narrow cove near the beach in Ensenada. New Mexico wasn't home long enough for him to find his own space, but he was sure he would have.

His current home offered a completely different challenge. He was used to switching schools, homes, states, countries, and even languages, but never had he found himself in a new time. The need for a quiet space of his own was especially strong in this strange new world.

Even though, John held off making an exploratory trip. There was simply too much to do, he told himself. A new life, new identity, and several big advances to get used to. Plus, he wasn't sure if they were actually going to stay long enough to make it worth the trouble.

Tonight, however, John lay awake listening to the added sounds in the house. Of the three people in the house that physically could sleep, none of them seemed able. Murmured voices sounded down the hall as Sarah and Derek quietly spoke, about what he didn't want to strain to know. And as always he could hear Cameron as she patrolled the house. For a machine she was light on her feet, but he could still hear her. He alternated between finding it terrifying and comforting that the footsteps Sarah had trained him to always fear now kept watch over them both.

The feeling of claustrophobia finally became too great. John slipped from bed and headed for the window. Ducking Sarah Connor was hard enough, but now he had a terminator guarding him. Deciding that escaping her now might be good training for the future, he opened the window and crept outside.

His sneakers hit dry dusty ground and he started around the side of the house. Mindful of Cameron's enhanced hearing, John moved silently through the yard and beyond the chainlink gate.

Moving further from the house, he took a deep breath of cool air and quickened his pace. The feeling of freedom set in as he pulled the sleeves of his sweatshirt down. Even without scouting before hand, John knew where he was going. He saw the perfect spot two days ago on his way to school.

He half ran, in no real hurry, down the street. Four houses down from the one his mother rented stood an abandoned property and home. White tape tied around surveyor's sticks corded off the untended yard, but John's goal was the dark house set behind dried up rosebushes.

Sparing a glance around for neighbors that might think him a burglar or peeping tom, John ducked under the tape and walked around to the back of the house. Fortunately his family was the most leery on the block. He guessed the layout of the abandoned house was similar to his own, but there was one difference. A covered carport leaned against the east wall.

Smiling to himself, John felt along the main support strut as it ran from the columns buried in the concrete slab to a T clamp on the house. Plenty strong, he thought. Stepping over to the lowest point of the carport, John gathered his strength and jumped straight up. His hands found a purchase along framework and he slowly pulled himself up. Kicking his legs at empty air, he managed to swing his shoulder over the top and roll the rest of the way.

Rising to a crouch, he tested his weight against the metal roof and gently walked to the center. Growing more confident in the workmanship beneath him, John stood and took in the neighborhood around him. While not at a great height, he could see up and down the dimly lit street and the orange-yellow glow of downtown on the horizon.

Content, John settled into his newest hiding spot and enjoyed the solitude. By himself for a long time, John had learned how to appreciate aloneness. In harsher terms, as his mother might view it, if he was alone he was safe. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply and slowly.

It was late and he could easily believe he was the only person awake in the vicinity. Faintly he could hear the buzzing of streetlamps and the rustle of sleeping birds on the gutters of the house next to him. Even without seeing his house, John knew the light was still on in his mother's room. She always kept late hours, but more so now that his uncle was in the house. In this time, he corrected himself.

Just when he thought life couldn't get stranger.

One day, he joked to himself, he would sit down and have a nice long talk with Future John about some of his judgement calls.

Movement caught the corner of his eye. Sarah's force-fed training made his guard rise instantly. John froze in place and peered into the darkness. A figure stood just outside the lot on the sidewalk. If not for having seen it move, he could easily have mistaken it for a power meter in the dim light.

It was hard to see, but as time dragged on he made out the general height of the person and made a safe estimation of the identity.

"Come here, Cameron," he called down.

Without hesitation she ducked under the tape and walked up the concrete driveway. She stopped just short of the carport and looked up at him.

John tried not to sigh. "What are you doing?"

"Following you." She paused. "What are you doing."

Realizing that he must look ridiculous sitting several feet off the ground next to an abandoned house at two in the morning, John shifted uncomfortably. "I just need some time to myself. Just go back home, okay?"

"I cannot do that. It might not be safe for you here."

"No one knew I was here until I started talking to you," he pointed out.

"I did." She looked over her shoulder. "I will return to my vantage point and you may continue to have time with yourself."

Now he did sigh. "It doesn't work like that. Don't bother going back to the street. I can't be alone if I know you're standing a couple of yards away just staring at me."

"Okay." Cameron thought for a moment and finally dragged an unused trashcan away from the side of the house to the center of the driveway. Before he could wonder what she was doing, she had used the can as a booster and reached for the framework of the carport. Showing much more grace and ease than he had, Cameron pulled herself up beside him.

The metal underneath them groaned with the added weight and John felt the entire construction shake. "Jesus."

"The retaining clips on the frame are build to each handle over one thousand pounds of added weight," Cameron said. "It's an added feature to handle high winds. The structure is secure."

"Jesus Christ," he said again. "What are you doing?"

"You told me not to return to the street, and you did not seem willing to return to the house, so I am going to keep you company."

"I didn't want company." John scooted back on the metal roof. "That was the whole point, you freak." The last part came out barely audible.

"I'm not a freak," she said at once. "You were up here first."

John gave a small, dry chuckle at that. "Yeah, you got me there. Must seem pretty stupid, huh?"

"Yes." At his surprised glance she amended herself. "No. This is a good vantage point. Nice sniper position for several of the homes on this block."

Looking again across the street, John realized she was right. "Great," he said. "My one trait that I thought wasn't related to the insanity of my family and it turns out I was picking snipe positions."

Cameron was silent for a long moment. He could feel her watching him. "It must be difficult," she finally said, "with Derek Reese here."

John opened his mouth but all that came out was, "I, uh, what?"

"It is natural for young men to look up to an older man as a father figure," she explained. "You are in a peculiar situation since he is from the future and knows you as the person you will become. You cannot relate to him without wondering if you are living up to his ideal of John Connor."

"Wow." He gave her a hard look. "How did you manage to piece that line together, but any other type of human interaction and you blank out?"

"I listen to what Sarah and Derek say to each other and to what you don't say to either of them. Plus I remember my time with you in the future. Many people look up to you there but also have trouble relating to such a great persona."

"That's…nice." He grimaced. "So much for having many friends then, huh?"

She looked at him confused. "You do. Hundreds would die for you without question and do so while grateful for the chance to defend you."

"That's not friendship, Cameron. That's, well, I don't know what that is, but it isn't friendship."

"You once told me about risking your life to rescue Sarah Connor," she said. "It was foolish and risky, but you did so anyway because of the bond of loyalty you felt for her. Is that not, at its basic, the same thing?"

John thought of himself sending his uncle back in time. "No, not really." Realizing she was going to expect elaboration, he added, "It's not something I can explain. Just know it when you know it."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for several minutes, watching as the neighborhood slept around them. Even though he was no longer alone, John felt a faint sense of peace returning. Relaxing, he leaned back and gazed out at the city glow.

"The stars are pretty tonight," Cameron said.

"What?"

"The stars look pretty tonight."

He frowned. "Why would you say something like that?"

"It is polite to engage someone in conversation when they are feeling sad." She tipped her head and almost looked pleased with herself. "I wanted to make you feel better."

"Thank you, but I'm not sad."

"You seem sad."

John shook his head.

"Are you sure?"

"I think I'd know."

Cameron glanced at him. "So would I."

Suddenly a little uneasy John looked away and said, "We should probably head back. If mom finds out I'm gone she'll blow a gasket."

With the carport groaning in protest, John dropped down and stepped aside so Cameron could follow suit. She landed with her knees slightly bent and slowly straightened to her full height. He caught himself staring at the rigid, mechanical way she moved and was reminded of what she really was.

Together they started walking back to their house. John held the white marking tape up for her to pass under and followed. "I'm sorry I disturbed you," she said. "In the future when you seek solitude, I will be more surreptitious in my protection."

"Now you are the one that sounds sad," he mumbled without thinking.

"I am not."

Attempting to turn his flub into a joke he said, "I think I would know."

It worked. Cameron smiled at him and her large eyes lit with the push of it. No, he forced himself to remember. Her programming had selected a smile as the most appropriate response. "I made you feel better?"

"Yeah," he half lied. "You did. It was nice having the company for a change."

They made quick time to the house and John started to circle around the back to sneak in through the window.

"John?" Cameron asked, stopping him. "Do you plan on returning to that spot tomorrow evening for continued solitude?"

He shrugged. "Depends. Maybe."

Cameron nodded and seemed to roll something over in her mind. "Thank you."

John turned but only made it three steps before glancing back. "Yes, you can join me again next time."

**End**


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